The financial burden of one’s priorities and lifestyle choices.

When I moved back to Berlin last year, I knew the move would make my fixed costs double. After five months of flat hunting, I finally found the most gorgeous apartment. I was ecstatic.

For 10 years, I’ve kept my apartment in Vienna even though I’ve only lived there about half the time. With a rent that never went above € 386 a month and that was € 187 when I first moved in, it was still cheaper than if I would have given it up and looked for a new apartment every time I decided to move back to Austria.

One day in January 2018, I woke up and I knew it was time for me to leave – regardless of how much more it would cost. I felt trapped in my hamster wheel and had to get out. I needed to give myself a fresh start. Moving back to Berlin felt right. And money was just money, so I didn’t worry about it all too much.

One and a half years later, I must say moving back was the right decision. In March, after being single for four years, I met the most wonderful man. We hit it off immediately. Then, in the summer, we went on an epic campervan trip. And now, just seven months later, we’ve moved in together.

As I am about to hand over the keys to my gorgeous apartment, I feel sad but also relieved.

I’ve loved every bit of the apartment; I’ve loved the beautiful terrace, the incredible view, the park downstairs, the ability to take a bath. I’ve even enjoyed spending time with my neighbors. I’ve loved the small bio shop a few streets away. I’ve loved the yoga place down the road.

However, and this needs to be said, I didn’t like how my priorities needed to change in the past one and a half years.

Having fixed costs of €1.000 wasn’t necessarily a financial problem. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it. However, I had to prioritize being able to afford it.

While in the past, I’d take dry months as a chance to work on creative side projects and build out my various side incomes, just as I described in My Creative (Side) Business, I suddenly had to prioritize earning money.

Before moving to Berlin, I was able to pass on projects easily. If I didn’t feel they were right for me, I’d not bother. While I had the same approach in the past one and a half years, I’ve also spent significantly more time looking for projects. Either I was earning money or I was looking for work to earn money. My priority wasn’t to create and produce creative work. My priority was to make enough money to be able to afford rent or look for projects to be able to afford my rent in the future. And so, while I escaped my Viennese hamster wheel, I’ve entered a new one: the hamster wheel of earning money in order to afford my lifestyle choices.

I am relieved that soon I’ll be able to prioritize working on creative projects again. I’ve got so many ideas about the things I want to do and work on.

In the past couple of days and since I know I’ve found someone to take over my lease, I’ve noticed my usual self has been coming through more and more again. It’s been lovely to be spending time with the person, myself, who appreciates the tiny things in life. I’ve loved the morning walks with Orion. Even when it’s pouring rain. I’ve enjoyed sitting in a café and eating a slice of banana bread and reading a book at 4 p.m. without feeling even a little bad about it. I’ve loved having the mental space to sit and write an article like this.

A couple of days ago, I reconnected with my incredibly inspiring friend Liz Wellington. Her name might ring a bell given I’ve interviewed her for Work Trips and Road Trips.

Liz and I talked about our dreams and how they’ve materialized in the past few years. One of the most inspiring things Liz shared with me when I was working on the book and that we’ve touched upon again in our catch-up was her practice of taking herself out on creative retreats. Every three or four months, she books a trip and travels by herself. With her admirable discipline, she dedicates those weeks to her creative projects exclusively.

She’s currently finishing off a novel.

As 2019 is winding down, it’s time for us all to think about the things we’d like to accomplish and the value we’d like to create in the new year. It’s time to think about the projects we want to get involved with and the dream clients we want to work with. But also, it’s time to think about what we prioritize in life that needs our mental space, our energy, our time, and our money that we might want to say goodbye to in the new year.

Having worked with many amazing people and companies such as Kickstarter, Google, and Virgin Money, I feel optimistic about the year to come. Most of all, I feel confident about getting back to having a balance between creative work and purposeful projects that pay the rent. Given rent will be half of what it was in the past one and a half years, I cannot wait to see the creative side of life to take up much more space, time, enthusiasm, and energy.